The Life I've Experienced

               I arrived in the U.S in 2008 of April. It was very nice to be in the U.S finally even though it was never my dream to be here. But looking back now, I finally understood why a lot of people dreamed to be here in the U.S because of all the wonderful things that the U.S have. The very first thing I saw in the U.S were kids going home from school. I saw school buses, parents picking up their kids, and high school students smoking while walking in the sidewalks with their friends Some kids were happy, some were sad, and some of them just didn't care. I know a lot of kids hate school, but I am the opposite. I love school not because to be with my friends, but to learn and adapt the American ways. I came from the Philippines and when I came here in the U.S., I have noticed/experienced the differences between the two countries. Especially the culture! But as a matter of fact, I am still learning until now. I think it's how life works; learn all the things around you and accept what's and who's around you. I believe that God gave us problems not to hurt us, but to let us learn the way how life works. God gave me so many problems and drama in my life. He does it to everyone everyday. At first, I thought he did it in purposed but then I realized that since I am still a young age person, he wants me to learn how to deal and solve my own problems in my own way when needed. I always talk to someone I can trust who will understand my situation but sometimes I like to keep it myself. When I started getting sick, I never expected God would helped me get through it. I prayed and prayed every night and my only hope was to be heard. I've been through so many struggles and pain in life, but look at me now, I am still the same and living my life to the fullest without any regrets. I have met a lot of good people since I started living in the U.S. Many of them became a bad influence and some of them stayed good friends of mine. In 2010, I started living with my good friend whom I called my "big brother" name Drew Leibrock. So many good memories with him, his friends, and his family. Everyone treated me real well with respect and kindness everyday. I even started doing some hobbies with him that we both love to do like boating, fishing, and exploring different places for me to see what's out there that I needed to see besides home. Drew has been there through everything with me, bad and good things. I can never have the same friendship with anyone else but him because he has done a lot of good things that nobody could ever done the same. He was one of the reasons that I never wanted to gave up. He is a best friend and a best brother I've ever have. We've been through so much but we are still living life to the fullest. So many times, a lot of people keep telling me that I've changed so much since I started living with my friend Drew. But that's how we all live. The good people and the good things around us make us changed as we grow to be a better person. I agree that I've changed since I came here in the U.S but because I finally have a nose and I've experience living a life that I will never experience in the Philippines. I've dealt with so many problems and so many rough times, I can't even count them all. I've changed because I have understood how precious life can be but then so many people don't even appreciate what they have in life. Living a life with a family in the house is all I ever wanted because I receive love and care from them everyday. A family is where I find my happiness. That's what I found in the U.S.

Prayers Helps

Dear God,

I don't ask you to make my life easier,
but I ask you to give me strength to face all my trouble.
Amen.

I don't go to church every Sunday but I talk to God always. Specially when I needed him the most at my most trouble days. I do believe in God and I also believe that he has the power to make everything works in the right way. When I got really sick 3 years ago, I was very scared that I wouldn't make it. I spent the whole 6 weeks at the hospital so everyone could watched after me. My only hope by then was to stay alive each day I wake up in the morning. There were nights that my nurse would always come and check me in my room just to make sure I was still breathing. Each day, I see nurses and doctors coming inside my room wearing blue hospital gowns and a hairnet. People wear them always whenever they come inside my room because I was quarantine  and very contagious. It hurt me to see people wearing that hideous costume but I knew why they had to. It was one night when I couldn't take it anymore so I cried and cried in my room. I was all alone and nobody was able to accompany me so I tortured myself and just cried. It was the very first time for me to kneel down the floor and talked to God inside my room. I was crying while I was talking to him.

" God, I know I made mistakes in life and I know you'll forgive me someday. I will accept your punishment to me any day now. I owe you my life for always hearing my prayers, for keeping my families and friends safe, and for guiding them through to whatever life gives them everyday. I also thank you for giving my best friend Drew the strength to live a happy life although, many days ago has been painful time for him and the family to get through this because I am in the hospital when he couldn't be here to stay with me. He always stays with me every time I am in the hospital to help me focus to myself, not to the situation. But it is different times this time because I am all alone and my situation is making me sad. So I prayed to please give me the strength to fight through and to survive this terrible sickness I'm going through. If I were to die, just please protect my families for me and make them happy while I'm gone because I am sure I will be back soon. Specially help my best friend Drew to find a woman that will give him a family to make him continue to live life happily and help my family to live a good life away from squatters. I love them so much. I will give you my life and soul to do these for me. But if I were to live, I promise I will stay healthy and to make sure my families are happy no matter what. Please God, I need you more than you'll ever know. I know you're the only one that can help me. Give my doctors the strength to help me feel better. Give me signs, God. All I want is to be home for Christmas and celebrate your birthday with my loved ones. Hear me out God. Amen."

This was my prayer at the hospital when I was so lonely and felt like dying inside of me. I didn't know what else to do. I hate being lonely and I hate darkness. I feel cold every night and I didn't want to sleep because I was afraid to not wake up the next day. After that night, I've noticed myself feeling much better. I was very happy each day. It was also when my doctors came and told me I would be home for before Christmas. I was ecstatic after that great news. I felt healthier and was very happy when I saw my brother again. Prayers helps if it really means something to you.